Find The Penis.

Bosco was a big, happy Rottweiler with the heart of a party animal and not an unfriendly bone in his body. I got him as a puppy in 1989 and he passed on 4 months shy of his 10th birthday of bone cancer. RIP, Bosco. Party dog, mountain hiker and cart-puller extraordinaire, gentle with the tiniest children, tolerant of all living creatures (except for his insane hatred of flies and habit of licking up trails of ants) and my big sweet lug.
He had a work ethic to die for and a great sense of humor, so I have lots of Bosco Stories. Here's one.
You know how some people - particularly men - sit with the TV remote between their legs and click away? My ex did this. So naturally I called the remote "the penis." And you know how TV remotes are always getting lost?
Bosco loved having jobs around the house, so I wrapped duct tape around the blank part of the remote (so he could pick it up easily) and taught him to find it. The command was "find the penis." Which rather alarmed guests, since he was a 115lb, muscular, rambunctious Rottweiler who dove into every job with great enthusiasm and determination.