Saturday, June 03, 2006

Testicles: Bumper Nuts and Neuticles.

These are Bumper Nuts.
Seriously - the website is pretty funny, and they've been on the market for at least ten years.
I've seen these things twice in real life - in fact just last week, I was behind a Chevy truck with a pair of blue ones.
I cannot even begin to fathom the thought process of anyone over the age of 13 who would purchase these. I certainly wouldn't date anyone who sported Bumper Nuts, would you?
Gah. Only in America, I'm sure.

What's that? A jelly bean?
Nope. A neuticle. There are actually vets who agree to the procedure, implanting fake testicles after neutering a dog.
"Neuticles allow your dog to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering."
There are so many things wrong, illogical and just plain stupid about this I don't know where to begin. If anyone thinks this is a sensible idea, I'd love to hear your thoughts.


Blogger threecollie said...

I saw an ad for those and I am telling you, it scared me. We have to share the world with people messed up enough to think that dogs actually care.
I was really impressed by your post on surgically altering dogs in various ways. Very informative and well thought out.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Carina said...

Thanks threecollie! I always enjoy your comments.
I wrote a letter to neuticles some years back asking why they didn't have ovarioceuticles for female dogs but didn't get a response. If it's all about the dog, you'd think a little equal opportunity would be nice....
I asked my vet if he would ever implant these. He snorted and rolled his eyes.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Behind Blue Eyes said...

The bumper nuts fall right in there with the cutout of the little boy whizzing that people have in their front yards. (Though admitedly...a little worse.) Yeah, I don't know what kind of mentality would want to use something like that to make a statement....probably one that I would have nothing in common with!

12:02 PM  
Anonymous K said...

Hey another thing to add to my list of things that makes a guy undatable...

Thanks :D


12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's amazing that God hasn't sent another flood. Guess he keeps his promises.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

I have no clue on either of these hideous contraptions but people are obviously making money on these. so very sad.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Carina said...

I'm thinking one could save money by hanging bumper nuts on the dog. Not only cheaper, but a: duct tape is cheaper than vets and b: you could color coordinate.

9:22 PM  
Blogger threecollie said...

I don't usually comment twice on the same post, but I find myself here, laughing hysterically at these comments, especially using the concept bumper nuts on dogs. Ain't folks something? And another wonderful use for duct tape to add to the ever lengthening list.

9:31 PM  
Blogger PresentStorm said...

I have seen the bumper nuts a bunch in real life. I remember the first time I seen them I was like " are those what i think they are?" I thought to myself , surely not. You have just confirmed it I have NO idea why someone would even want them. I also heard about the neuticles. My husband told me about them when we gout our male dog fixed.. He was making a joke about getting him some. We laughed it off. We both think they are absurd. I want to know what kind of person actually pays money for

3:58 PM  

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