Dogs In Elk.

Ever wonder what happens if you get several live dogs inside a fresh elk carcass?
Read all about it.
Seriously funny. And true.
To see the vegetable version of Dogs in Elk, go here.
Tell me that's not hilarious.

Things only someone who feeds a raw diet would understand.

That you couldn't take a shower this morning because there's a 65lb case of frozen beef hearts defrosting in your tub.
You drive 160 miles round trip to pick up 50lbs of reeking green tripe because the dogs adore it so.
You get extra-super-duper excited when you hear your main supplier is now adding beef trachea, lungs and gullet to the tripe mix.
Chickens go on sale for .59/lb at Kroger and half the people you know are calling each other with the happy news.
But only doing so after they've cleaned out the butcher case at their own local store.
You've forgotten what doggie breath and dog farts smell like.
All the local butchers know you as the Crazy Dog Lady.
A good friend calls with the news her dogs refuse to eat the emu heart she just bought them, and would you like to trade 30lbs of emu heart for 30lbs of ground rabbit?
There's 46 posts (and counting) to the discussion on your raw e-group about whether yoghurt is a good probiotic source for dogs. And it gets heated because people can't agree.
And, you care about this.
Your spare freezer contains 120lbs of raw meat for the dogs, a half gallon of Peanut Butter Passion icecream and a four-pack of black bean burgers for the human in the house.
You see dead deer on the side of the freeway and think....hmmmm. 200lbs of free dog food.

Yes, it all gets a bit weird sometimes.

Is that a fish in your toilet?

This has got to be one of the cutest designs I've seen in a long, long time.
Here's the news story.
I want one!

This thing can bite off your finger.

It's a snapping turtle - they're quite aggressive and fairly common around here. They are frequent roadkill, like big squashed nuts.
I was walking one of the dogs last week and came across one about to cross the street. (Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station. Har har.) It was well over a foot long, looked exactly like the one in the photo. The tail is really muscular and spiky, you can't get them by the tail. Anyhow, they can actually jump, they'll turn and leap at you if you mess with the south end. And I'm pretty sure a large-ish one could take off a finger.
How you move them - should you want to - is get a sturdy stick and wave it in its face. The turtle will lunge and grab the stick and usually hold on so you can drag it.
Huh. I just read through the Wikipedia link, check this out:

Strangely enough, the Common Snapping Turtle, when raised in captivity from a hatchling, can sometimes become extremely docile and devoted to its owner. It may show signs of intelligence in recognizing individual people and will seek out those it prefers to be around. Some can be taught to obey simple commands with enough patience....

Saviour or sadly misguided?

Is it kind to keep a skinless cat for ten years?
I recently chatted with a woman who, it seemed, had some sort of "animal heroine-rescuer" syndrome. She told me of a stray kitten she picked up many years ago. Apparently it had some sort of autoimmune disease and its skin and fur kept sloughing off. She proudly told of her great dedication in keeping the cat alive for ten years, rubbing cream onto the raw, cracked skin and spending huge amounts of money and energy on various treatments and drugs.
Was that fair? I don't really think so. This lady regaled me of several stories like that - dogs and cats she had "saved" and "nurtured" at great expense, and - seemed to me - questionable quality of life for the animal. She clearly expected praise and respect for this; perhaps that's why she did it. I wonder if she treated the humans in her life with the same extraordinary energy? I got the impression she was a somewhat solitary person. Well, there you are.
Not too long ago a local cat rescue was pleading on TV for some huge sum of money - thousands - for a cat that had been set on fire by some deranged, evil kids.
Nice gesture, sure. But animal rescues operate on a threadbare budget. That one newsworthy cat should be afforded such resources meant that several hundred more were killed at taxpayers' expense in shelters in the city that month. Six grand buys one hell of a lot of kitty litter.
Did the cat really want to spend months in a cage, undergoing skin grafts?
The animal rescuer-heroine syndrome takes other forms, too.
People often assume the pet they get from a shelter or rescue was "abused." "She doesn't like men" they say. "She must have been abused by a man." The implication being, of course, that the rescuer is a worthy, heroic person who selflessly and heroically saved an abused animal. That somehow this is a grander gesture than adopting a well-balanced, happy animal from the pound. Look at the publicity Katrina pets got - they had the Katrina cachet - a designer rescue pet!
(By the way, most fearful animals probably have not been abused, just isolated and not socialised.)
From a purely pragmatic point of view, how much better to adopt a well balanced, friendly dog from a shelter - one that does not need tons of work and rehabilitation. Because, thousands of pets are going to be killed today by humane society employees. Most of them are loving and deserving animals that someone threw away because they became inconvenient - the" good" ones are more deserving, I think.
How much better it would have been if the cat lady had spread her resources around a bit, rather than spend ten years nurturing a cat who surely did not have the most comfortable of lives.

9.11 tribute. Pass it on.

2,996 is a planned blogger tribute to those who died on 9.11.
Read about it here.
I leave political & social commentary to others who are much better at it than I. This is a nice gesture (nothing more, nothing less) and I've joined.

Raccoon vs Rottweiler

My money would have been on the raccoon.
The other morning, I took Daphne the Rottweiler for a walk to the park before sunrise. I let her offleash and she disappeared into the tall grass by the creek. A quick movement in the tree next to me - I turned my head and came almost face to face with a fleeing baby raccoon the size of a kitten. Yikes - I pushed through the grass towards Daphne to find her facing off with a very pissed off mama raccoon.
Good thing Daphne has a great recall - actually, I think she was glad that I gave her an excuse to back away! Mama raccoon looked pretty intimidating. Bared teeth, snarling and hissing.
I told my knowlegable-about-many-things friend Martha about it & she said not only would a 'coon usually mess up a dog, but they would swim out into water, hoping the dog would swim after. Once in water, a fighting raccoon can drown a large dog by attacking its head. According to this site, that is indeed the case.
Sure was an adorable little baby raccoon, though.

A new collar, and where the women are.

Cooper got a collar named after him. I wanted a new "dress" collar for him. Daphne's is pink leather with big silver studs, but rolled ones work better for Coop because I don't want to mess up his fur.
Check it out, it's beautiful! I recommend this lady's work; she made it to my specifications.

Why is it dog training and sports are dominated by women? I really don't know why this is. At this weekend's agility trial, there are about 70 handlers and only six are men. Weird. If I was a single guy with a dog, I'd get involved in dog sports.

A very, very nervous Chihuahua.

It's been a long day & I can't think of anything substantive, witty or pithy or anything. I admire those of y'all who have serious, thoughtful blogs! Thank you - I enjoy them. Mine are sort of Blog-lite.
Anyway, this is my Rottweiler Cooper (95?100? lbs) and a rather apprehensive 3.5lb Chihuahua named Mikey. Note owner hands at the margins of the photo; Mikey's human was pretty apprehensive too, can't say I blame her.
Like many big dogs, Cooper is extremely tolerant of little ones and I'm 99.99% sure he wouldn't harm even an obnoxious bitey one. Although he will appropriately put an uppity small dog or puppy to the ground and roar cusswords to teach proper respect. He likes little dogs and gets all wiggly and happy when he sees the little Pomeranians we do agility classes with. They jump all over his head and yap, he appears to really like this. There's a little Jack Russel we meet sometimes in a park, if there's no other dogs around they play, it's really cute. The first time the JRT met him, being a JRT, it attacked. Was hanging by his teeth off Coop's cheek at one point. Coop just shook him off, they had a few words and have played like crazy things ever since.
I really really want a little purse-sized dog! Cooper wants me to get a little bitty dog.
Unfortunately Daphne the Retardo-Rott Does Not Play Well With Others and would, I am pretty sure, kill a small dog. Daphne is the cross I am bearing this decade. Sigh.
Just to clear up misconceptions & stereotypes about Rottweilers: Daphne is not one bit people-aggressive, she is very submissive and sweet with people.

Elvis's Meme - 10 things.

1: I like to eat bugs.
2: I think I am really a Rottweiler in a little cat suit.
(That is my absolute favourite photo of him, go look!)
3: If I'm forced to eat canned cat food containing beef, I will hork it up on the kitchen counter. The biped finally figured it out. I like fish cat food, dammit. And ground rabbit. Why don't they make mouse cat food? Now there's a Fancy Feast. Veal my cute little furry ass.
4: I'd like some neuticles, please. Big ones. Chrome would be good.
5: Because I was a badass street cat before I moved in here and I still like to run the other cats off. But my self esteem has suffered because I no longer have testicles and I'm afraid the other cats will laugh at me.
6: I like birds, especially baby ones. I had a really nice baby bird bestest friend once, but he fell asleep. So I ate him.
7: I like to sit on the edge of the bathtub while the biped is having a nice peaceful soak. Once I fell in while trying to kill some bubbles. Naked bipeds make squishy, inefficient launching pads - I had to really dig in for good traction.
8: The biped puts catnip in a paper grocery sack so I can huff it. Oooh yeah baby. Wow.
9: Because I am actually a Rottweiler in a cat suit, I like car rides. I really do, I lie on the dashboard and look regal. Except they were both to that place where I got a thermometer stuck up my bum. How rude is that.
10: Meow.

Testicles: Bumper Nuts and Neuticles.

These are Bumper Nuts.
Seriously - the website is pretty funny, and they've been on the market for at least ten years.
I've seen these things twice in real life - in fact just last week, I was behind a Chevy truck with a pair of blue ones.
I cannot even begin to fathom the thought process of anyone over the age of 13 who would purchase these. I certainly wouldn't date anyone who sported Bumper Nuts, would you?
Gah. Only in America, I'm sure.



What's that? A jelly bean?
Nope. A neuticle. There are actually vets who agree to the procedure, implanting fake testicles after neutering a dog.
"Neuticles allow your dog to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering."
There are so many things wrong, illogical and just plain stupid about this I don't know where to begin. If anyone thinks this is a sensible idea, I'd love to hear your thoughts.